Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad

One of the reasons I started this blog is because sex was on my mind. I felt like we were somehow missing out on something because I felt that sex should be more enjoyable than it was. And I didn't have any idea who to talk to about that. So of course, I talked to Craig.

He recommended Kama Sutra, which is the ancient Indian (from India) art of love making. So I bought a book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Kama Sutra. I sort of glanced through it, but I haven't thoroughly read it yet. Only one section of it is about sex positions, while the rest is about other aspects of love making mostly. The sex position section is illustrated with diagrams, which I think is helpful and tasteful, not pornographic. But this isn't a review of the book.

I wanted my husband to read a little of it with me every day because I have been having a hard time getting aroused lately. I'm not sure why. The problem is, he really only reads comic books and it was pretty hard to convince him that this was a comic book...since it's not. So we haven't read it. But I think the fact that I purchased it gave him an idea that I needed more effort. We tried some new things (like starting fully clothed, for example, and not in the bedroom) to start out with and it seemed to work. I was properly aroused, and we tried a different position and had the best sex we've ever had. I think it wasn't any one aspect that made it so good, but the whole shebang. He romanced me into sex, rather than going "hey, we're both naked from the shower and now we're in the bedroom, how about it?" Everything about it was non-routine and thoughtful and caring, and it was awesome. I'd like to do that again some time.

But then more recently, it was pretty lame again. I could kind of tell he wanted to have sex, and since I'm usually the one asking I had no problem saying yes, but it really just didn't feel very good. There was hardly any foreplay (or forethought) and it ended in him feeling relatively good until I started crying because I felt selfish for wishing it had been more like the previous time. Then he didn't feel so good either.

We haven't had sex since, yet. That was Monday and now it's Thursday, and for us that's actually quite a long time to go in between (we're newlyweds). I'm just confused about how to make sex good when we're both so tired all the time. Sex requires so much effort for me to really enjoy it, so it sucks if it's rather quick but it also sucks if we just stop having it because it takes too long.

I don't actually have a solution to this problem. Just a problem.