Saturday, October 8, 2011

My not-so-sister site

I was having a discussion with my husband the other day and he had been talking with one of his friends about this blog and my purpose in creating it. His friend shared another blog with him which he then shared with me - I was pretty excited at first because it was another Mormon sex blog, the very thing I had been lamenting for its nonexistence. However, when I read it, I realized it was not really what I was looking for. The kindest way I could put it is that it was a lot more liberal than my blog.

Because of this blog run-in, which was almost similar to mine but really not, it got me thinking about how potentially narrow my audience is, not least because I have no idea how to advertise an anonymous blog. But if a blog like that is attracting visitors, it reminded me that I am possibly on the more conservative side of the LDS religion. Here are some reasons:

-The other blog promoted masturbation as a healthy and good thing - even for singles/teens. I disagree with this stance. I intend to write a whole post on it in the future, but for now I will say that my husband and I don't do it, and I can see it possibly being okay in some marital relationships as part of foreplay, but I don't view it as okay as a solo endeavor.

Okay, so most of the rest of it was littler than that. Like, the bloggers (there are several) chose as pennames, names of Joseph Smith's wives. Seemed kind of like a little satirical nod to polygamy, which I don't think of as very funny. It's a pretty serious thing and I don't really understand it, so I don't laugh at it. Also, they had linked to a satirical blog from the point of view of an unrealistically strict stake president, which bordered on anti-Mormon. At first I found it slightly funny until I realized that it was making fun of some things I really believe are God's laws. Like don't watch pornography. The more I read from the blog, the more negative my attitude became and I finally collapsed into bed with overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, confusion, etc. I told my husband I would not be reading that blog again, and he held me and agreed that that would be a good idea.

So while at first it seemed like "oh! I don't have to write this blog, it's been written already!" I realized that narrow as my audience may be, this is still an important project. And that I'd like to keep it respectful and doctrine-based, not worldly-view based. Of course everything will be based on my interpretations, but I won't make fun of you for your views even if they don't match up with mine. I might try to back mine up with scriptures and/or conference talks, though, because I have a thing about being right when I think I'm right...

9 comments:

  1. I think there's a quote from general authority saying no to masturbation? Because I was curious and now I decided if its from a general authorityIt probably isn't suggested and i think it's to solo endeavor

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  2. I love your blog, thanks for writhing, it was just perfect for what I am looking for, is there a way you can add like surveys, about topics such as oral sex.

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  3. I started dating a Mormon and I am not one. He is sexually reserved but is very open about discussing it ��
    Can a single guy masturbat since he cannot have premarital sex?

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  4. Thank you so very much for this blog. I wish it were easier to find this information in the LDS bookstore, but I have never seen good advice in a book anywhere that is specific to LDS women or men. I struggled with the masterbation issue because my husband was often too tired to help me, and we finally came upon a solution that I can only masterbate with his hand. That makes it a joint effort, but ensures that it satisfies me, and then we have intercourse after I orgasm.
    As a single person, you are not allowed to masterbate, ever, under any circumstances. I think it helps you as a married person to resolve differences because you don't want to be celibate, and if one is used to masterbating, it is very difficult to suddenly have to only have sex when your spouse is interested.

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  5. so I have some bad news for you. Your husband most definitely does "IT" and he's lying to you if he says he doesn't (unless his testosterone is so low he is having ED problems). Really ask him this way"I love the idea of you touching yourself, would you share with me how often you do it so I can get turned on?" ANd hear what happens next. EVery day or every second day. This is the ONLY reason why sometimes when yoga re in the mood, he surprisingly isn't...

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  6. I have a question though. If you really believe that god will reveal to you through revelation whether you should have oral sex or not, 1) what if he were to give you different answers? 2) If you were unsure about whether you actually should finish him in your mouth, would it be reasonable to expect god to weigh in on that. Im not being snide, I promise. I'd just like to know, isn't it more reasonable to assume that if your hormones are going, that whenever you think about a possible sex act that is appealing, you will get the answer you want? I mean, far more likely it would seem than 50/50 right? How do you make sure you don't influence the answer? Suppose that you mutually masturbate and like watching each other, wouldn't you suppose that if how much either one enjoyed it were different, then wouldn't the one that liked being watched come back and say "it was revealed" while the one who didn't like it would say "nothing doing?" I mean if god has the time to weigh in on whether your husband should cum in your mouth or whether you should swallow, doesnt he have time to answer the little girl with cancer's prayers for life? The availability of god to answer your questions about having sex with each other suggests a kind of hubris that is just perfectly fitting for mormons.

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  7. Apparently you haven’t checked your comments in awhile....

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